I'm crushed/obsessed over Britanny Murphy+ a question

[rs]

Hello everybody, 

I really think movies is part of our lives, that's why this forum is so important. Although I don't watch movies much, only when I'm driven by desire to keep on watching the movie 'till the end, then I do, or when I see a few minutes of a good movie and decide I should watch the whole film in the cinema or somehow in the computer.

Recently I got a bizzare reason to watch a few movies in a much higher frequency than I was used to:

Maybe almost a week ago I saw on Yes 1 (Israelian tv movies channel) part of "The Little Book". The moment I saw the actress there, I knew I recognize something. Checking wikipedia got me to the understanding I was right with my sense.

Back in December 2009, back in the army, I read somewhere about Britanny Murphy's death. Now, I'm not sure why- maybe it's because she took a role in 8 mile, maybe because she is pretty, maybe something in her special face, maybe the way she died, maybe combination of those reasons, but maybe some sub-conciuos reason I'll never know, the story of her death touched my heart, and I was sad. Sitting in the back sit of a Hummer on a cruise, when an Israelian song in the radio which would later become like an anchor that immediatly reminds me of Murphy.

So, the girl in Little Black Book is actually her. So few days later I headed over to see this movie. And it is s-o beautiful! so cute! and Britanny Murphy is just amazing there! and sweet very sweet..

But seeing the end of the movie wasn't the end of the remeneasing on Murphy. An still-going obsession over her started. I mean after the whole death saga. I read in wikipedia, then investigate in other sites on the web. What truly happened and whether there is somethnig new since 2009 when I heard about it. I found out there is much more new. 

The question: What's up with that? from what I understand, her father invited a private examination of her hair and found out heavy metals, but then it's said that in order to say that there was poisoning another blood and skin (?) examinations have to be done, and that the metals can come from variaty of chemical preperation to the hair. And that was in 2013 if I ain't wrong. What happend since then? Would a new investigation would be taking place?

Meanwhile I've decided to see 3 movies that she starring. I read about her house and that it was broken down and new buyer builds there another house. 

I saw in youtube an interview with her featuring in a hosting show, and her nature is so charming! I can fall in love only for her character. She was so happy and so cute

Also saw her singing "somebody to love" in youtube, heard the 911 call recording of when she collapsed two hours before she died, I consider watching another two movies she starring after I finish watching those 3, oh I forgot- already saw one of them- Deadline- I liked it ! it's seen there that she a little thiner and looks less good than in Little Black Book but still she is cute there.

I don't know what to do with that obsession , I mean it's not a big deal and not something to worry about ,it's just that I actually going to watch sum of 3 movies , just because of her.. And maybe I fell inlove with her, and I want her back alive. How can I COMMUNICATE with her? Speaking to the skies? maybe send paper ships which contain letters to her from the Israelian coast to the Middeterreian , hoping they would find their way to L.A?

I wish I could come and tell her how much I adore and love her, and how I was happy to see her in the Black Book movie, and that she was amazing there.. I hope it'll be possible in heaven if I be able to reach her there, like in the end of Black Book where she meets Carly Simon.
I thought today about the whole "but hey, she never knew me, and girls don't like me anyway so what's the chance?" but hey, this is about Hollywood, in Hollywood we can dream, I want to see this as a place where I can stretch the limits of what makes sense.
I miss Britanny Murphy so much, what about you ?
I'm in love with a Hollywood star that passed away